Monday, May 23, 2011

Reading my last post, I'm struck by the feeling that although I was still missing Paula terribly, my life was slowly getting back on track. Shortly after my last post a series of events have occurred that have left me feeling that 2011 is not turning out to be one of our best years.

Firstly, just after my last post, we found out that my father has inoperable and terminal liver cancer. He had had a bile duct problem earlier this year, which was resolved nicely but in the course of sorting that out, there were investigations to find out exactly what was causing the blockage - these discovered the cancer. For complex reasons, we are mostly estranged from my parents, although we maintain some contact (e.g. to pass on news about shared relatives for instance such as my Aunty Floss) and occasionally other similar health news. There's not really very much else I can say at this point - my father has started a course of chemotherapy which is hoping to shrink the tumour - this is taking place in Swansea where he lives.

Shortly after this news, his sister, my auntie Hilary, was coming back in from the garden on a Sunday evening and fell awkwardly as she stepped into the conservatory. She phoned NHS Direct and the triage nurse advised going to A & E. My father took her in and they discovered that she had broken her arm in a particularly nasty way that would need an operation, so she would need to stay in. We went down to see her in hospital on the Tuesday and she had her operation on the Wednesday. The top of the arm had been replaced by a new joint and the break was pinned with a plate - a long and complex operation. Hilary had been fitted with a complicated sling arrangement with various straps, waistbands, harness fittings and lots and lots of Velcro. Dressing normally was completely impossible. On the Friday, armed with lots of heavy duty painkillers, she was allowed to leave hospital and we picked her up, took her home briefly to collect some possessions and then brought her home for a week's intensive R &R. With her dressing on the scar (which is going to be a real beauty) taking a shower was out of the question, so I've been washing her hair, giving her foot baths and helping adjust the harness.

On the Saturday, we had a long standing arrangement to go and see our friend Penny, as it was her birthday and go out for a pub lunch and a long natter. I can't even begin to describe how much I was looking forward to this. We also had some of Paula's quilts to give her. We left Hilary in the house, with a plate of cut sandwiches, and a pile of cushions on the sofa. I was happy to leave all three dogs in the house but Andrew was keen to take Andy with us as he is the most likely to hassle Hil while she is eating. We arrived safely at Penny's farm, and it was lovely to see her and Joe (her business partner). Joe and Penny were showing us some new caps they had got for wearing under the armour, and Penny and I were discussing making some quilted ones. We then slowly drifted back out to the farmyard in the general direction of the farmhouse. Andy was very excited as one of the farm cats was doing that cat thing of sitting just out of reach and being provocative. As he was bouncing around, Andrew turned and somehow tripped and fell, quite heavily. Initially, he got up and dusted himself off, and put Andy back into our car while we went back into the house. Penny opened her birthday presents and had just put the kettle on when we realised that Andrew had gone a very nasty colour (think of cold porridge or a bowl of putty) and said "I've broken something". There was nothing for it but to leave Penny and Joe and head off back to hospital.

Going back out to the car, we then discovered that the cat had re-emerged from the barn and had been sitting by the car, taunting Andy. Andy had literally tried to eat his way out of the car and the entire front passenger door was now shredded and a mass of blood and saliva, he had even taken a chunk out of the dashboard.

I drove Andrew back to the Heath, dropped him off at A & E and took Andy home and also had a sandwich and a coffee with Hil, who was understandably surprised to see me home so early and without my husband. Then it was back to the hospital and time to collect the second patient. Andrew is right handed and had broken his right clavicle so was particularly badly affected. The only good news is that he did not to stay in or an operation.

Until the following Friday I passed an exhusting and stressful week looking after the two patients. Anyone who's nursed an incapacitated relative will know what this is like. Days seemed to pass in a round of washing, ironing, shopping, housework and trying to see to the dogs.

On Friday Hil was ready to go home, and first of all we took her to Marks and Spencer to stock up on some ready meals and other food for her home. Then it was the drive back to Swansea, unpacking her stuff, getting her settled and then returning home. Friday night I was exhausted, and enjoyed a very large gin.

On Saturday, Rita (Andrew's mother) had bought tickets for her, Claire (Andrew's sister) and myself to go to the Hippodrome in Bristol to see Matthew Bourne's Cinderella, with lunch first. I caught the train at around 10.30 and already the city centre was prepared for thousands of rugby fans for the Heineken trophy match between Leinster and Northampton. We all met up at Bristol train station and took the water taxi to the harbourside area, where we had a delightful lunch at the Waterside, an arts centre, cinema and cafe complex on the quay. We then strolled over to the Hippodrome and took our seats (which were excellent) for the ballet which was lovely. It was set in the London Blitz during World War 2 and was beautifully danced. I didn't think the flow of the choreography seemed as smooth as it had for Swan Lake - somehow the narrative seemed more choppy and disjointed but it was an enthralling performance. Sets and costumes were gorgeous. Coming out we took a taxi back to the station, and I was able to step straight on to a train coming back to Cardiff, which made for a smooth journey.

On Sunday, another busy day - lots more housekeeping in the morning, then I shot off to a double shift in the library while Rita and Roger arrived in the afternoon. By the time I returned home, they'd cooked a meal for Andrew and there was some for me too. This morning we all had an early start. Andrew had an appointment at the fracture clinic. No real news except to come back in four weeks time, but they have given him a much better sling, another contraption of Velco, straps and buckles. I'm now feeling that I stand a good chance of a job as a dresser in an S & M dungeon. The car also went for its MOT - unfortunately it failed on a number of minor points so tomorrow it is going in to the garage for some more work before being retested. After all these outings, it was back home for a belated brunch, Rita and Roger took the dogs for a walk while I did some more housework and then they kindly picked up some groceries for us at Tesco, before leaving us around 4. After they left, I just went and had a snooze upstairs, and tonight we've relaxed with a pizza and some TV. We're particularly enjoying the new series on Sky called Game of Thrones - very gory in places, but good.

I hope this post explains the lengthy silence - I'm hoping normal service can be resumed shortly.

2 comments:

don said...

Very sorry to read of your troubles - hope things improve for you.

Re : Game of Thrones - enjoying it too, very much - have you read the books? I am on the third now and loving that just as much, if not more!

The Calico Quilter said...

Oh, how dreadful! So sorry about everything that has happened, and hope your auntie and Andrew are on the mend quickly, and pray that the chemo gives your father some relief.

Take care of yourself and please don't let caregiving duties get you too run down.

I also have to ask if Andy is OK after his car rampage - no damage to his mouth?