This is one of the bitterest posts to write.  Dear Jonathan is dead.  He died yesterday at his home in Manchester. I always thought and referred to him as "cousin Jonathan" although technically he was my dad's cousin, but because he was so much closer to me in age that just seemed to work better.  Regular readers will know that I've had a link to his blog on my sidebar practically since I started my own blog.  

How do I begin?  Well, by telling you if you haven't already to read his blog.  The odd thing is that I would look forward to reading his blog usually because of his wonderful humour even though it was mainly about having cancer, surviving cancer and then having an unrelated terminal cancer - not usually cheery subjects.  Because we had both had cancer, this formed an odd bond and shared experience.  One of Jonathan's many admirable qualities was that he put things back.  Right up to his death he was working with Macmillan to improve the design of cancer treatments for patients.  His blog was a magnificent description of cancer - I hope so much it will have helped educate and inform people, not just about the illness but about being terminally ill.  

He was honest (often painfully so) but like all of us, he was so much more than just being about the illness that killed him.  He was intelligent (fiercely so), curious, well-informed, had a killer dress sense, a fantastic sense of the ridicolous, and the very rare ability to have a well argued debate and hold differing opinions without that getting personal, something I greatly admired.  He also had a deep well of compassion and a strong sense of voluntary service - he helped on the Lesbian and Gay Helpline in Manchester for many years, and I've already mentioned his work with Macmillan.   

He was a loving family member.  His immediate family has been hit by repeated tragedy.  Sally, Jonathan's sister died at a young age and aunty Janet, Jonathan's mum also had cancer and died late last year.  All of us are thinking of uncle Bill at this time.  

We saw Jonathan at Christmas and typically we ended up having a really interesting debate about drugs in cycling as well as hearing all about his plans for a midsummer party which I'd put in my diary.  I won't put a line through it - I will make sure we have a celebration that night and raise our glasses to a very special and wonderful person, who was deeply loved and will be missed more than I can say.