It's been an utterly horrible week.  I don't think I can put it any other way.  Most of it seems to have passed in a sea of foggy grief.  

A couple of things have exacerbated it.  Firstly, this seems to be the latest in a long string of deaths - starting in 2012 with Paula, then being followed by Dad, uncle Peter, Margaret, aunty Janet, aunty Floss and now Jonathan.  Jonathan's funeral on Friday will be the fourth one I've attended in six months.  The last two years have taken a very heavy emotional toll, and one of the odd things about grief is that each successive bereavement seems to make the pain of the previous ones worse rather than easier to bear.  

In the meantime, of course, normal life has to simply continue, and for the business that has meant maintaining our presence on Facebook.  That's been awful this week since this stupid craze has been doing the rounds of people doing no make up selfies for "cancer awareness".  Quite frankly, I just about feel ready to punch anyone who suggests I need my awareness raising, and that's before I get on the issue of not wearing make up. 

There is nothing brave about not wearing make up.  OK, I'll happily accept that  there are a tiny number of women who wear make up to conceal scarring, birth marks etc - for them, yes, different issues. But for most women, I can't see anything brave at all, and in comparing this even tangentially to the bravery of cancer patients seems wrong and narcissistic.  

I spend most of the time completely make up free and will wear it occasionally for nights out or special occasions but don't feel I need it.  I am not conventionally pretty, I am pushing 50, my skin is average, I have wrinkles and spots and scars and dark circles under my eyes - that's who I am.  Make up is like wearing a special evening dress - it's a nice treat but I'm under no illusion about it's magic powers of transformation.     It strkes me as a sad indictment of how far women have to go if we applaud their courage in not wearing make up - because that would be suggesting that our appearance is still our most important feature, not our character or our achievements, but our adherence to some artificial standard of beauty.  

Thinking about it, most of my female friends also don't wear make up or like me wear it infrequently - clearly we are all bottom of the class for being good, decorative little women.  

What has helped this week?  A couple of things.  Listening to Wagner. The dogs.  Going on a course yesterday at Busy Bees that I'd booked last year and really enjoyed.  Thinking about it, most of the women on the course weren't wearing make up, and quite a few of us were wearing sensible shoes. 

This week has been one of those times for feeling completely out of step with a wider culture - I'm sensible enough to know this feeling will pass and a lot of it is fuelled by grief which is making me particularly raw at the moment.   Fundamentally I'm happy and comfortable in my own skin - both literally and metaphorically.  

 

I found this article about Jonathan when searching for funeral details.  It's a lovely picture of him and the article says a bit more about his work with Macmillan - something I hope will be a lasting legacy of his.  

This is one of the bitterest posts to write.  Dear Jonathan is dead.  He died yesterday at his home in Manchester. I always thought and referred to him as "cousin Jonathan" although technically he was my dad's cousin, but because he was so much closer to me in age that just seemed to work better.  Regular readers will know that I've had a link to his blog on my sidebar practically since I started my own blog.  

How do I begin?  Well, by telling you if you haven't already to read his blog.  The odd thing is that I would look forward to reading his blog usually because of his wonderful humour even though it was mainly about having cancer, surviving cancer and then having an unrelated terminal cancer - not usually cheery subjects.  Because we had both had cancer, this formed an odd bond and shared experience.  One of Jonathan's many admirable qualities was that he put things back.  Right up to his death he was working with Macmillan to improve the design of cancer treatments for patients.  His blog was a magnificent description of cancer - I hope so much it will have helped educate and inform people, not just about the illness but about being terminally ill.  

He was honest (often painfully so) but like all of us, he was so much more than just being about the illness that killed him.  He was intelligent (fiercely so), curious, well-informed, had a killer dress sense, a fantastic sense of the ridicolous, and the very rare ability to have a well argued debate and hold differing opinions without that getting personal, something I greatly admired.  He also had a deep well of compassion and a strong sense of voluntary service - he helped on the Lesbian and Gay Helpline in Manchester for many years, and I've already mentioned his work with Macmillan.   

He was a loving family member.  His immediate family has been hit by repeated tragedy.  Sally, Jonathan's sister died at a young age and aunty Janet, Jonathan's mum also had cancer and died late last year.  All of us are thinking of uncle Bill at this time.  

We saw Jonathan at Christmas and typically we ended up having a really interesting debate about drugs in cycling as well as hearing all about his plans for a midsummer party which I'd put in my diary.  I won't put a line through it - I will make sure we have a celebration that night and raise our glasses to a very special and wonderful person, who was deeply loved and will be missed more than I can say.  

As planned, we went down to Weston Super Mare on Friday afternoon to collect the new car.  It's lovely.  It had been valeted within an inch of its life so was gleaming and spotless.  Andrew drove it home while I drove home in our old car.   We got stuck in the usual Friday afternoon bottleneck between the Bridge and the Brynglas tunnels.  The Welsh Government has dicked around for ten years (or more, possibly) trying to get this notorious bottleneck sorted.  It's the main transport artery into the big population centres of South Wales and it took us over an hour to get through around 20 miles of motorway.  While Welsh politicians keep bleating about having more powers, I'd rather they did a good job with the ones they have and sort this out.  With this and the bridge toll, it's the sort of thing that is a disincentive to a business deciding where to set up.  I think it's no coincidence that the Bristol side of the bridge is heavily populated with things like distribution centres etc.  No sane business is going to locate where transport links are expensive and difficult.  To be honest, if we had perfect freedom of movement, I'd locate on that side of the bridge now, as we do so much travelling with Milgi, both to shows, to see our machinists and to go to fabric wholesalers etc.  None of this will help the Welsh economy, which is already flatlining and pretty much entirely dependent on public sector jobs.  

Anyway, we got home, and Andrew spent most of Friday night reading the manual, and then sitting in the car getting the phones tethered into the Bluetooth system.  There's a whole spaceship's worth of buttons and controls and digital displays.

On Saturday morning, we headed over to see our friend Rachel.  Rachel volunteers for EGLR, and is one of the main organisers of their show in May, and I'd been busy making stuff for the event.  I'd done a box of 46 tuggy toys.  These are made from spare bits of fleece, plaited into short strips, and knotted at both ends.  There were also some applique tote bags, a big batch of tissue holders and some nail file holders each with their own emery board.  Hopefully these can be sold on the stall and raise some much needed funds for the rescue.  I was very glad to take these yesterday, as it was a big item ticked off my To Do list and we probably wouldn't have had room for all of it on the day of the show as well as all our own stuff.  

Nail file holders

Callie with the tissue holders

One of the applique bags 

Birds were cut using a Sizzix die

We set off in the car, with the girls in the boot.  Andrew spent most of the journey asking me if I wanted the temperature altered by 0.5C but I was very impressed by the smooth, quiet ride.  It seems difficult to believe it's a diesel, as it's so quiet.  Safely arrived at Rachel's, unloaded our goodies, and the girls were delighted to meet up with their old friends Carrie and Erin, and foster dog Max.  After a nice catch up, we all piled into Rachel's car, a squash with five dogs and three people! Headed into Chipping Sodbury to our regular haunt, the Royal Oak.  This is a lovely pub on the main street of the town, and the dogs are always welcome there.  We had a relaxed lunch, with Andrew feeding Max chips under the table and it was great to have a natter and hear all about Rachel's recent holiday.  

Then back to Rachel's house for cake and coffee while the dogs played and did zoomies in the garden.  Reluctantly, we left mid afternoon, and had another smooth, comfortable ride home.  Had a quiet rest of the day, just catching up with some reading, the papers,and a bit of TV.  

Today, we're off to Halfords to get a boot liner and some mats for the new car, and I've got a dental appointment.  

I don't often talk about cars on my blog.  But they are one of those things that make life much easier and in my case, I really enjoy driving.  Our current car is a Mondeo estate and we are both very fond of it.  It's a real workhorse, diesel engine with a vast, capacious boot and a straightforward, reliable drive, which is surprisingly quick on motorways and long journeys.  It can cope with us going to a show or event laden with four greyhounds and all our show stuff - no mean feat.  If we didn't have the dogs, I'd have something smaller and sportier, but we do, and when ferrying them around, I've developed a stately driving style that allows them to enjoy the view and not be flung around on corners.  

We'd realised that our current car only got through its last MOT with a wing and a prayer, and the garage had warned us of a few looming problems.  It's started making some ominous clanking noises and the next MOT is due in about six weeks, so we decided to start the search for the next Milgi mobile.  

This is where the internet comes in.  There are now masses of search facilities that let you look for cars by price, model and location.  We decided that we would go for another Mondeo estate and began browsing.  On Saturday we made a foray over to some of the big car showrooms in Newport to have a little browse and checked out our local Ford dealer too where our current car came from. Nothing suitable there, but it was useful to have a look at the newer models, and get a feel for the updated cars.  

Yesterday, Andrew found several on the net that were with a chain of garages around Weston-Super-Mare, an easy journey away.  It was a glorious afternoon, with blazing sunshine, and we headed over.  I like travelling in the car with Andrew - it's a great place for talking, and we can often catch up and have relaxed discussions about things.     

The first garage we went to was a bit disappointing then we headed into WSM itself.  Lots of people out enjoying the sunshine.  Found the garage, found a very helpful guy who pointed out the cars to us in a sea of them, and we found exactly what we wanted, a lovely 2010 Mondeo estate. It's silver, like our current one, is a 2.0 diesel and looks great.  

One of the things that really makes me feel quite old sometimes is to reflect on the wonderful improvements in cars since I learned to drive.  When I first got behind the wheel, power steering and A/C were unheard of luxuries and cars were far less reliable. I think that power steering in particular has really transformed driving, especially for women.  I can remember how physically hard it was to haul a big, heavy car round when parking - no fun.  A big estate like the Mondeo is now beautifully simple and easy to park.  Modern cars are much more reliable, safer, have power steering and aircon as standard and of course have a great deal more electronic wizardry built in.  The new car will have Bluetooth connectivity which will be great and very useful. 

Anyway, we are popping back at the end of the week to collect the new car, and I'm really looking forward to driving it. 

Last Thursday, we headed up to London for a weekend break.  We had some free hotel nights from Premier Travel Inn - as they run a loyalty scheme and Andrew stays with them a lot when he is away for work.  Rather than stay in our usual spot by Vinopolis, we decided to move to one slightly further along Southwark Street, a newer hotel and one that Andrew had recommended.  

Originally, we'd booked train tickets (and of course we both have an Oyster card for getting around) but the severe weather has massively disrupted train services.  Eventually we decided to drive up to St. Albans and catch our old friend the Thameslink in to central London.  We drove up on Thursday after dropping off the dogs at the kennels - journey was straightforward.  However, I felt very strange returning to St. Albans train station.  When I had cancer, I used to catch the train from Borehamwood (we lived minutes from the station) to St. Albans to attend the hospice there - Grove House.  An incredibly kind volunteer from the hospice used to meet me there and give me a lift to Grove House, and then take me back again at the end of the day to the station.  This was the first time I'd been back to the station since then, it hadn't changed a bit, and a lot of memories came flooding back.  

We hopped on the train, and were soon in central London, and arrived at our hotel.  We had a room on the 7th floor, with views of the London Eye, very clean, new and comfortable.  Time for a shower and a bite to eat then out to see "The Duck House" at the Vaudeville Theatre on the Strand.  OK - time for a rant.  £10 for two gin and tonics and £3.50 for an interval icecream - a rip off, and I'm not impressed.  However, the play was absolutely excellent.  Ben Miller and all the cast were very strong - good ensemble playing which you need with farce.  Very well written and we both sat there laughing right the way through.  A real treat to see something so good.  Afterwards it was lovely to stroll along and then get a night bus back to the hotel for a quiet drink before bed. 

Friday we had breakfast at Pret then headed over to the National Gallery, as I wanted to see the exhibition about the Northern Renaissance (a good follow up to the similarly themed one at the Queen's Picture Gallery recently).  However, although there were some excellent pictures in it, the exhibition was very disappointing, and also very small.  Afterwards, we sat in the sunshine in Trafalgar Square for a while, then headed off.  We went to see the Florence Nightingale  Museum as I've always admired her, not least for her love of statistics (she invented the pie chart).    

After we returned from the museum, we headed back to the hotel for some chillout time, then in the evening we met up with uncle Warwick for dinner.  One of Andrew's colleagues had strongly recommended the Boot and Flogger so we went there, just a short distance from our hotel, and very close to Borough Market.  The recommendation was a good one - it's an enchanting place, very old, full of wooden walls and floors, and curious nooks and crannies.  Service is excellent, lovely atmosphere, and we had a relaxed, convivial dinner with really good food.  Eventually got thrown out at 11 feeling the evening had flown by (always a good sign) and strolled back to our hotel happily.  

Saturday started with breakfast again at Pret (Andrew loves their porridge). Then we caught the Tube down to the O2 at South Greenwich.  It was lovely to wander around and then we headed to our destination, something I've wanted to go on for ages, the cable car across the Thames that was built for the Olympics, now called the Emirates Airline.  Paying with Oyster was easy, and we were able to board quickly, and very pleasantly, we were given our own cable car, not forced to share with other parties which was a very nice touch.  Soon we were high above the Thames, enjoying breathtaking views of the city and looking down river to the beautiful Flood Barrier.   As it was a clear, sunny day, we couldn't have chosen a better time to travel.  I loved it.  Once we landed on the other side, we decided to come back on the return trip, again magnificent.  The breeze picked up though, and our little car wobbled a bit on the high bits but I concentrated on admiring Canary Wharf! 

After landing, (a very smooth and easy experience) we went for a coffee, then strolled to the Pier, and caught a Clipper up the Thames.  Again, this is a lovely way to travel - you see so much of London's beauty from the river.  We got off at County Hall by the London Eye and thence via our old friend the RV1 bus service back to the hotel.  Time to read the paper and relax for a bit then out for dinner.  As we usually do when in London, we ate at Vinopolis.  We had a great meal, with terrific wine (as you'd expect!) but service was a bit patchy, and not helped by a large hen party near us which, although very well behaved, made the restaurant very noisy.  

Again, time for a relaxing stroll by the river after dinner, then slowly back to our hotel.  An early start on Sunday morning to catch the train from London Bridge station, and soon we were on our way to St. Albans again.  Back to the car park, picked up the car, and before long we were heading back on the motorway.  A smooth journey home, and then it was time to collect the woofs.  A joyful reunion, and a quiet day afterwards, unpacking and catching up.  

 

Earlier this week, I caught up with the new album by Nine Inch Nails, called "Hesitation Marks".  I've liked them for a while and saw that they were playing in Cardiff so decided to find out more about their new stuff.  I bought a CD from Amazon, which is on its way, but one of the nifty things they now do is that you get a instant download as well for your Kindle etc, so I was able to start listening to it right away. 

The single from the album is "Came Back Haunted" - a real stormer.  I immediately identified with the lyrics on this - it seemed appropriate for having cancer, actually.  Here is a link  to the video. 

The rest of the CD is fabulous - and I especially like the fact that like all the best albums, you hear different things each time you listen.  I listened to an audio interview with Trent Reznor where he discussed the genesis of the album and he mentioned a point where he chose deliberately to follow an electronica path rather than a more "rocky" guitar based sound and I love the results. Not really surprising, as I adore Husky Rescue who also have an electronic based sound (but very different) and listening, I was strongly reminded also of one of my favourite albums by David Byrne/Brian Eno, as well as a few Kraftwerk/New Order touches.  As someone who grew up on 80s electronica, this is perfect.  

I came to NIN rather late - having cancer sort of knocked all kinds of cultural stuff out of kilter, and I found I just wasn't interested in a lot of things.  I 've gradually got back to liking stuff and being curious but find that I'm catching up with things that have been out there for years - NIN being a case in point.  As well as the new album, I also bumped into one of their other songs on Youtube, called Closer, and thought I'd share it  too.    Again, apologies if you've known about it for years! It's one of the best musical descriptions I've ever come across of that mindblowing feeling when you turn from being a grown up who votes, recycles and reads the Economist into a lust fuelled tiger whose sole ambition is to have wild animal sex until you have to walk like John Wayne for 48 hours.  

I'm hoping we can go and see them in Cardiff when they play here later in the year, I've suggested Andrew gets me tickets for my birthday.  I think he was a bit surprised when I mentioned it, but I suspect they'll be great live.  

We've also been planning some other stuff for later in the year.  We're booked for a weekend in London in February so are going to see The Duck House - a comedy with the excellent Ben Miller about the MP expenses scandal. 

We're also planning (or starting to) our visit to the Tour de France when it starts in the UK later in the year.  I can't wait! I think we will head for the stage in the SE rather than Yorkshire - easier to get to.  This year's race is going to be a peach (I know, I say this every year) - with both Wiggins and Froome racing, on the SAME team!! Awesome.  As well as that, I'm really excited about the whole Tour circus thing - will be fab to see the parade of sponsor vehicles and all that kind of thing, as well as a view of the peloton in full flight.  

I know that British people are famed for their ability to moan endlessly about the weather, but this unending rain is really getting me down.  Not so much because of it falling - I actually don't mind walking in the rain, find it quite romantic at times but because the ground is now beyond saturated.  Every walk means sliding on thick mud, all our clothes get filthy, the dogs get filthy, the car gets filthy and stinks of mud, and it all makes any form of cleaning feel self-defeating. To make a change, we've had some hail over the past two days but the rain is continuing tonight and we have more forecast tomorrow. 

Yesterday, I completed the annual RSPB Great Garden Birdwatch.  It was difficult to find a slot without rain, but eventually in the afternoon, it eased off for a bit, and the birds came out to visit the feeders.  We had our usual colony of house sparrows, blue tits, great tits, the wren and the blackbird.  Long tailed tits visit regularly but didn't make an appearance yesterday. 

Today's been a day of quiet routine.  We walked the dogs at Tredegar House this morning - waded may be a more accurate word.  Our walk was cut short though by an off lead Lab with no collar who was hurtling round the park knocking other dogs over like ninepins.  The owner was completely oblivious - I had words with her when she eventually returned. 

Two visits to the Post Office - lots of coats to send out, and the first batch of rosettes from the online dog show. 

More paperwork, accounts, and happily some time to have a cuddle with Callie.  We're also starting to get bookings for summer shows - it's nice to think about warm, sunny days and taking out the Tent of Destiny again.  

I picked up a load of new sample coats from Nina earlier in the week and yesterday, amazingly, it wasn't raining.  So after our normal walk at Tredegar House, we took the girls over to the reen behind the houses and did a few pictures to put on our website.  We have several new fleeces  and the second prototype of the raincoats we'll be launching soon.  Got some lovely pics of the girls - Sara is very photogenic.  

 

After we'd done our mini shoot, got home, fed the woofs, fed ourselves and read the paper for a bit.  Then Andrew started uploading pics to the website along with the various bits of text, shopping basket etc.  and I put lots on Facebook.  Caught up with the wedding Sherlock last night- I enjoyed it, but it did feel quite self-indulgent, and again, I'm struck by how poorly written the female characters are. 

This morning, Andrew took the boys out first thing and got some diesel, while I got ready, then headed off with the girls.  Our destination was the Bristol DAWG Dog Show at Avon Riding Centre, Henbury, just south of Bristol city centre.  The centre has a lovely view back towards the Severn Bridge.  I met up with our lovely friend Sue and her gorgeous hound Mick - we entered quite a few classes but not a sniff of a rosette.  This happens sometimes, so not too worried, especially as I know that shows are such good fundraisers for smaller rescues.  

 

There was a raffle as well, and to my astonishment, I won the most enormous hamper of dog goodies I have ever seen in my life.  It took a man with a big parcel trolley to load it all into the car - there's masses of stuff.  Tinned food, dry food, treats, snacks, even sardines.  We'll be keeping and using some, but quite a lot will be going to EGLR, I'm helping with their show in May, and this will be perfect for the Doggy Tombola. I started my journey for home just before 4 in the rainy dusk.  There's something really romantic about that time of day - I love the grey, low sky, the twinkling lights and the sense of returning home to warmth and welcome.  The girls were shattered after a long day of bum sniffing and excitement so slept most of the way. 

Andrew had been busy while I was away and there was a warm welcome from the two boys.  A big tray of vegetables for roasting was just going into the oven - they are cooking now and smell gorgeous.  I probably won't be having wine tonight though - for the last couple of months, I've drastically reduced my wine consumption as I've found it triggers hot flushes.  This is particularly unpleasant if I drink in the evening as the flushes seem to happen a couple of hours later, so I'm kept awake.  Fortunately, if I drink vodka or gin, there seems to be no ill effect, so I'm currently enjoying a big glass of vodka and orange juice. 

Over Christmas my cousin Jonathan kindly gave me a very polite nudge and reminded me that I'd lapsed in my blogging.  Now that things are getting back to normal, I thought I'd do a post and will hopefully soon get back into the groove.  

It's been another busy day today.  I walked the dogs this morning - taking the boys over to Tredegar House.  After we'd walked, (or paddled) I headed for the Post Office to send some Milgi parcels, then to Duffryn Community Centre.  Regular readers will know I often write about Busy Bees where I do patchwork - just before Christmas the shop was completely destroyed by a fire.  This was devestating news - as the shop is far more than that, it is the hub of a very friendly and involved group of quilters and needlewomen.  This week, Sandra and Sue, the shop's owners, have hired space at Duffryn Community Centre so that customers could pop in to check and confirm their bookings for the various courses they run.  I'd booked on a day course in March so called in today.  It was lovely to see Chris and Marianne, and it's likely we'll soon hear if/where/when the shop will be re-opening.  Wherever possible, they are also going to go ahead with the courses, which is excellent news.  For the short time I was there, there was a steady stream of customers, full of concern, but also of hope - a very cheering start to the New Year.  

This afternoon, I've been doing Milgi admin, ordering more fabric, sorting out photos for the online dog show, ordering some prizes for it (giant cheese cookies for the dogs) and passing on orders and stock lists to be made up to our machinists.  The company who supplies the dog biscuits is another small business - Jayne, the owner is always incredibly helpful and very positive.   We sent out giant cookies to our customers in the run up to Christmas as a way of saying Thank You, and often put little bags of the doggy treats in with orders the rest of the year.  

After feeding the dogs and having something to eat this evening, I had a phone call from a rescue friend - help needed for an emergency transport run, plus a lovely catch up on lots of other news.  Tidied the kitchen then came upstairs to a fresh round of emails.  Dogs are all settled now, so soon it will be time for bed.   

On Sunday, Andrew and I helped to move a dog.  One of the wonders of the internet is that it facilitates the many networks of volunteers who are involved in things like transport, homechecks  and so on - all the activities that keep rescues running.  One of the rescues I volunteer for is Evesham Greyhound and Lurcher Rescue.  A boarding kennel they use is north of Cardiff so they often need help in moving dogs onwards into foster care or for adoption. 

I saw a post on Facebook asking for help with this particular dog, and let the organiser know we could help. Accordingly on Sunday we went up to the kennels, had a nice chat with the lovely lady who runs it and picked up Meg.  Meg is a gorgeous dog probably aged about 5 -6.  She had been found as a stray, dumped, and taken to a pound where she had seven days before she faced the needle.  Fortunately she, along with some other lurchers was removed to the kennels and now had found safety.  

The reason for her abandonment became clear after we met her.  On the front of her chest was a large lump, biopsied and now found to be cancerous.  Moving her was urgent as this would allow her to be placed in a foster home, from where she could have emergency vet treatment to remove the lump and then convalesce in a home environment.  

Although she had previously been a working dog, like most pointies she was  a joy to handle.  Relaxed and friendly, she greeted us beautifully and we were both smitten by her gorgeous fawn colouring (so like our darling Boola) and the most stunning dark eyes.    She travelled beautifully and it was a calm, sunny day as we headed off to Monmouth.  This is where we would meet the next volunteer who would transport her the last lap of her journey to her new foster home.  I took a picture of her in the car with my phone (see above).  

The journey went well and we soon arrived at the service station for the handover.  Meg was glad to stretch her legs and easily settled into the next vehicle.  Then we waved goodbye to her and drove home, still with her blonde hairs stuck to my trousers.  

She had her operation on Tuesday, along with her spay and a dental, and the latest I've seen is that she is continuing to recover and had her first short walk today.  When she is feeling better, someone will be able to adopt the most gorgeous dog with the sweetest temperament.  If any of my readers are on Facebook, you can follow her progress on EGLR's Facebook page, where there are regular updates on her and several other foster hounds. 

I mention this incident as really it's not terribly newsworthy ( dog goes for car ride in a nutshell) but is one that I've been thinking about a great deal this week.  In particular, it's very difficult for me to understand the person who simply dumped her rather than pay for vet treatment ( or indeed seek help and free vet treatment).  Doing rescue work is always hard because you see innocent animals bearing the consequences of human choices.  So much of what I see is rarely deliberate cruelty (though of course that does exist) but a sort of toxic combination of laziness, ignorance and unwillingness to spend money.  

Especially as it's Lent, I've been reflecting a lot on this - how much of the evil in the world is created and sustained by these chains of inactivity and a horrible narrowness of vision - either being unwilling or unable to envisage or accept the consequences for others of an individual's choices.  This applies whether it's dumping piles of rubbish in a back lane or abandoning a sick dog.   

It also occurred to me that much of my adult life has in various ways been about clearing up the mess others leave behind, and this in turn brings with it its own choices and dilemmas. 

Saturday was a terrific day.  After Christmas, I wanted to do something that would help people with the January blahs.  It's often a time of year when people are broke, the festivities are over, the weather is terrible and generally things are a bit miserable.  So, I took and adapted an idea I have seen on Facebook, the online dog show, and adapted it for our customers.  In particular, we wanted to set up a Gallery page on the website to showcase our customers wearing our coats and I felt this would be a great way of getting enough pics to get the gallery off to a flying start.  We invited our customers to send in their pics of hounds wearing their coats and bandanas, and organised these into three broad classes.  

As an incentive, we offered lovely rosettes, and for the overall winner a £25 donation to a sighthound charity of their choice.  As the closing date approached, I had to decide who to invite to co-judge.  I asked Sian: Sian also volunteers for Greyhound Welfare, which is how I know her, and she is also a qualified show judge in her own right, so perfect.  She came over for lunch first and Andrew cooked a lovely beef casserole with dumplings, just the thing for a cold winter's day.  To get us off to a flying start, we then had cupcakes (pictured) which I made, for fuel.  

The rosettes were originally due to be delivered earlier in the week, but the terrible snow we've been having changed that plan.  Andrew nipped out to meet Anna, (who made them) at a local service station while Sian and I were gathering our papers and settling in to start judging.  Andrew set up his laptop on the coffee table and then we were ready! Sian and I marked individually in each class, then added up our marks to get the highest scores.  In the case of a tie, Andrew was collared for a deciding vote.  It was lovely looking at all the gorgeous pictures and we really enjoyed ourselves.  Eventually, we got to the Best in Show and Reserve Best in Show (these were stonkingly gorgeous rosettes) and then we were done.  Then it was time to post the results on Facebook, and on Sunday I went through carefully allocating and packing the rosettes to post them out on Monday.  Today I've had several posts from people showing pics of their dogs wearing their rosettes which was lovely.  The whole thing has been so successful we are definitely going to do it again next year. You can see the Gallery page on the website here.  

Online dog shows have really taken off on Facebook.  They are easy to set up and manage, and Paypal makes collecting the entry fees very simple and straightforward.  For many dog charities they are an excellent fund raiser.  I entered one just before Christmas, run by Evesham Greyhound and Lurcher Rescue, and ended up with a couple of gorgeous rosettes, including one for our darling Boola - it was very poignant adding this rosette to his rosette hanger in the study, knowing it would be the last ever.  Callie and Mick now have their own shared hanger in the bunk bedroom - though we can split it down further in the future if we need to, and Sara's rosettes are on the bookcase downstairs.  At the moment, she doesn't have that many, but we'll move to a proper hanger if she gets a few more.  I smile when I look at Boola's - there are so many happy memories in those shiny ribbons. 

It's been a while since I posted - mainly due to being very busy with the new business.  I'm seriously considering stopping the blog as I tweet and FB as well, and find those useful for keeping in touch with people.  The only things that are making me dither are that the blog allows a longer, more discursive format, and a variety of photos.  I can be a bit more "specialised" - FB posts and tweets tend to be a bit more general.  Also, the blog has been going a long time - part of me feels it would be a shame to let it go.  It's gone through various evolutions and changes but then my life has changed enormously since it started, and it forms a useful reflection of that.  

I'd welcome comments and thoughts - both on my own blog specifically but also on the wider value of blogs generally.  I find blogs can be enormously useful, interesting and in some cases have led me to make friends with people on different continents, a wonderful bonus and a fascinating glimpse into other cultures.  

We're having a wonderful Christmas so far.  On Christmas Eve we popped down to Swansea to see Hilary and exchanged gifts.  Hil had also made some of her rightly famous mince pies (home made mincemeat too).  Came back home and had our annual ritual of watching Muppet Christmas Carol while eating a seafood feast.  We started with scallops and samphire, then some garlic prawns.  This was followed by blini which Andrew had made with buckwheat flour and topped with fresh crab and fish roe, with sour cream and herbs.  Delicious, and washed down with a gorgeous bottle of prosecco, thanks to a festive delivery from Dr. Laithwaites.  While we were eating, the turkey was cooking (another Christmas Eve custom) and the house was filled with delicious smells.  We loved watching the film and sung along loudly and tunelessly in all the right places.  Eventually, it was time for bed - four happy sleepy hounds and two happy excited humans.  

In the morning, Father Christmas had visited and left filled stockings for Andrew and me.  We had coffee in bed, then opened them, watched eagerly by the hounds.  Sara loved playing with the discarded wrapping paper.  Although the weather was wet (for a change!) we went out for a walk.  We headed up the A470 to Garwnant and headed up into the forestry above the Llwynonn reservoir.  It was beautiful, though muddy and we saw a rainbow and lots of birds.  Came home, fed the dogs and had some scrambled eggs.  Peaceful afternoon - did some kitchen prep then opened presents while the tree sparkled warmly.  Eventually had dinner around 6 - roast turkey with cranberry sauce, home made stuffing, roast potatoes, parsnips, sprouts and carrots.  Pulled crackers, toasted and enjoyed, with a bottle of Italian white.  Afterwards we watched Doctor Who (a huge improvement on last year, and much better), then a bit later Downton.  Unfortunately both Andrew and I burst into peals of laughter at the end - not perhaps the reaction wanted but it was a bit ludicrous.  

Today has been another peaceful day - a muddy paddle with the dogs followed by a turkey sandwich and a day of gently pottering.  

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all my blog readers a very happy Christmas and a new year filled with peace, health and happiness.  

 

I thought that tonight I would write about Lance Armstrong.  Before I had cancer, I knew virtually nothing about either Lance Armstrong or professional bike racing.  Then, while I was ill, my then GP, a really excellent doctor, suggested I might like to read one of his books.  She also suggested several others, including the wonderful John Diamond.  With some trepidation I bought "It's not about the bike" and devoured it.  To my surprise I found it utterly gripping and the following summer for the first time I watched the Tour.  I was completely hooked and since then have been a devoted lover of the Tour, and pro bike racing in general.  Most sports leave me utterly cold, but bike racing, especially the Grand Tours has so many layers of complexity, that it is addictive to watch, study and analyse.  

In the following years, I went on to read "Every Second Counts" and I also bought the excellent Daniel Coyle book "Tour de Force" which gives an informed and at times very funny insight into the world of bike racing.  

I've been very inspired in particular by Lance Armstrong's cancer campaigning, and have been a proud wearer of the Livestrong armband for a number of years.  God knows, especially considering my previous post, cancer is a horrible disease and there are many charities campaigning and fundraising for different aspects of prevention, drug research, patient care and support.  

What I especially liked about the Livestrong campaign is that it is aimed especially at supporting cancer survivors - it has really done so much to raise the profile of survivors.  Lance in particular has also rewritten the cancer rulebook.  Typically, and this is still the case, when a person gets cancer, there is a sort of narrative that people use.  For a start, they use words like battle, fight, war, as though the cancer were an actual enemy.  Cancer patients also get told they are "brave" - no, we are not brave, we have no choice in the matter.  And once you are in that box marked "brave cancer patient" there is a dreadful unwitting patronage going on.  

Lance took this, shook it out, kicked it and spat in its face.  He basically said "Yes, I've had cancer, but don't you dare feel sorry for me, and by the way, I'm the best bike rider on the fucking planet."  Pink ribbons, this is not. 

Over the years, the drugs allegations have swirled around - nothing new there.  Earlier this year, when I read the initial USADA case, I just thought "More of the same".  I discussed it with Andrew, and said to him at a very early stage that I didn't regard Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton as being entirely credible but the key figure for me was George Hincapie.  Ironically, George retired at the end of this season, after a phenomenally successful biking career, much of it in Armstrong's Tour-winning team as one of his trusted super-domestiques.  George for me was pivotal, since he has never had a public falling out with Armstrong, had been close to him for many, many years  and was now retiring so had nothing to lose or gain by telling the truth.  

Anyway, first came the news that Armstrong was not fighting the USADA any more, and then they released the evidence dossier, and one night, I sat up late into the night, glued to the computer, reading it.  Having now read it, only an idiot would believe Lance didn't dope.  Crucially, Hincapie has testified saying not only that he himself took drugs, but that he saw Lance taking them many times.  

Since then, I've read Tyler Hamilton's book, Secret Race, co-written with Daniel Coyle again, and that is even more damning.  The book is remarkably detailed and gives a very credible account of the doping culture inside the peloton.  In particular, Hamilton details that far from being a short cut, doping is actually expensive, time consuming and a constant worry for those doing it, and also still has to be only part of what is a hellishly rigorous training, exercise and diet schedule.  What both the book and the USADA report illustrate in jaw dropping style in particular was just how easy the pro riders found the evasion and cheating of the testing regime, with all sorts of neat workarounds.  

Now the news has come in that Armstrong has been officially stripped of his titles.  Firstly, I'm not really sure this will work - practically every other top rider in the peloton at the time was doping (many have been caught at some point) and I don't think it's helpful to engage in too much historical revision.  The past really is another country.  

I do think he should be banned from competing in the future, and from having anything to do with the training or development of young riders.  The testing authorities really need to get their shit together in regard to the testing programme.  

On a personal level, as just one of many cancer survivors around the world, who had been inspired by his story, I still am, to an extent but simply feel sad and let down that Armstrong lied for so long. He could have done so much to change the climate in the peloton around the issue of drugs and doping.  In the future, his lying and cheating will also deprive him of a future role in shaping and fighting for cancer survivors, and possibly into politics.  He is a talented, gifted, hard working, smart man, and it's genuinely disappointing that potential has now been spoiled.  

It's eight years this week since my life was changed by my cancer diagnosis.  I am grateful for every single day I've had since then, for the very precious gift of life.  I will always be grateful to Lance for helping me through some very dark times afterwards, but so sorry that his flaws have prevented him from enjoying the full fruits of his labours. 

I'm sorry to write that my uncle Peter, one of Dad's brothers passed away yesterday afternoon. Peter was the second eldest of the seven siblings, and was closest in both appearance and character to my father.  Like Dad, he had a laid back style.  He and his wife Francoise lived in Newark where they raised their three children, my cousins Sian, Rhiannon and Guillame.  

He was diagnosed with bladder cancer a couple of years ago, and initially we thought he was recovering but sadly it came back.  Pete dealt with it in a typically low key style, and with his customary humour. 

Pete's passing is almost a year to the day after Dad's birthday and the anniversary of his funeral.  It still seems very sudden. 

Rest in peace, uncle Peter.  

Lots to write about.  Firstly, young Murgatroyd is continuing to make excellent progress.  She went for her post operative check up and the vet was delighted with her, and that she had put on over a kilo in weight.  She's now looking slightly less bony but still thinner than I'd like - though with good feeding and care, I'm sure that will come right in time.  The dogs' owner continues to be unwell and is likely to be so for some considerable time so it looks as though the two dogs will be with us at least until Christmas and potentially even longer. Scarily, though, the festive season is only around twelve weeks away and seems to be flying towards us with increasing rapidity.  

The main element of this post though will be about a project I've been hatching this year, and which is now up and running - my new business, Milgi Coats.  I've set up a business selling beautiful fleece housecoats, walking out coats and bandanas for greyhounds, lurchers and whippets.  The business runs online from our website which has a fully functioning online shop which accepts credit and debit cards.  We also accept card payments by phone, postal payments by cheque and attend events with our stall.  We've deliberately purchased a card machine that works in a mobile setting which is perfect for these sorts of events.  

Our first outing with the business was for the South West Greyhound Gathering down in Upottery, near Honiton back in August.  That was quite a small event but still very useful as it gave us some great feedback from customers, including a request for whippet sized bandanas.  Since then, we've tested and developed these and had a batch made for our next outing which was on Saturday to the Great Greyhound Gathering in Nottingham at the racecourse.  This was a much bigger logistical exercise - we decided not to take all four hounds and Andrew's parents very kindly agreed to come over and dog sit for us.  They arrived on the Friday night and we had dinner and an early night.  Then on Saturday, we left the house at 5 a.m.  (not a time I'm normally awake) with Murgatroyd in the boot along with our kit.  We arrived safely and set up our lovely tent and bunting which I made.  In time I will get some bespoke feather flags made, in time for next year's appearances, but we can't do everything at once.  Lots of lovely merchandise and then after a slow start, the day hotted up, literally and metaphorically.  

The sun shone brightly and the racecourse gradually filled up with hundreds of greyhounds, whippets, lurchers, deerhounds, Salukis, and even a few non-pointies.  The atmosphere was wonderful - so happy and friendly, with masses of gorgeous hounds everywhere you looked.   The organisation ran very smoothly and the venue was great.  I entered Callie in a couple of greyhound classes, and sadly she wasn't placed, but the competition was pretty stiff and there were some stunning hounds on display.  

One particularly lovely feature of the day was meeting up with an online friend who I know from another internet forum.  She was attending with her greyhound Sprocket, who is coincidentally Andy's half brother (both by Brett Lee, a very well known and prolific greyhound sire).  I was thrilled to see her, and even more excited when Sprocket was placed in one of the greyhound classes.  She'd also very kindly brought us a wonderful tent warming present - online I'd been jokingly referring to it as the "Tent of Destiny" and she'd had a little plaque made with the words "Tent of Destiny" engraved to hang up in the awning.  Brilliant! We loved it, and she'd even brought some chicken's feet for the dogs too.  What a star.  

The stall did a roaring trade, with sell outs of some fabric and a lot of interest in the whippet bandanas (definitely a good idea) and even in our Christmas fabric range which I'd tentatively taken along.  Lots of people also took cards with our info on for future reference, so I was delighted with the way it went.  Eventually it was time to pack up and make our weary way back to Wales - we were both shattered.  A late dinner and then almost immediately to bed, after greeting the hounds and much needed glass of red wine.  

On Sunday, we all went over to the greyhound field.  Rita and Roger hadn't seen all four hounds hurtling round together - it's quite a sight so joined us before making their way back home. Then we headed back home for a very quiet afternoon of recuperation and relaxation.  

Today's been surprisingly busy, there's been a little flurry of orders coming in after the show which is great. 

I've attached some pics from the weekend. 

Last Friday, as discussed in my previous blog post we travelled down to a quiet part of Carmarthenshire and picked up Callie and Mick.  To us, she is always Murgatroyd, or Murgy so that's how I'll write about her.  We took Andy and Sara with us to allow for introductions.  I was very pleased that Andy simply sniffed bottoms and seemed quite relaxed and Sara was very happy to make some new greyhound friends.  

One thing that greatly concerned us though was Murgy's condition.  She had lost weight and her mouth was stinking - a vile stench of rotting and decay.  Her teeth were mostly black - it was clear she was in desperately urgent need of a veterinary appointment.  In the car going back up the M4, the traffic was awful (Bank Holiday weekend) and we had several cloudbursts that reduced visibility, but we phoned the vet and were able to get a 6.30 pm appointment.  I rushed her in, and sure enough, it was not good news.  Not only did she have severe tooth decay and an infected mouth, this had in turn given her a sore throat and greatly enlarged lymph nodes in her neck as her poor system desperately tried to fight the infection.  She was booked in for a dental on the following Wednesday and given antibiotics to start work on the infection.  Apparently her vaccination was overdue, (the kennel had mislaid her paperwork) so we arranged for her to have that plus wormer and flea/tick treatment.  

Over the weekend, we made sure she was given plenty of soft food and she was eating like a horse - she had been unable to eat the hard food in the boarding kennel.  On the Saturday we took her to the greyhound field and it was lovely to see all four hounds running around and having such a lovely time.  Afterwards we went over to Bristol to the fabric shop then came home.  

On the Bank Holiday Monday, we went over to Rogerstone for the Village Festival and Dog Show, organised by Greyhound Welfare.  We particularly wanted to take Sara, as I knew her previous foster mum, Sian would be in attendance and was dying to know how she was getting on.  We also decided to take Mick and leave Callie and Andy at home.  It was dry as we travelled, but very grey and it began raining shortly after we arrived, with the weather steadily worsening through the afternoon.  Sadly, this affected the attendance, which was quite low for the dog show.  The ground was a slippery quagmire of mud.  Sian was thrilled to see Sara and it was lovely to see Sara snuggling up to her for a cuddle. We took them in a couple of classes, and we were delighted when Mick came home with a 2nd rosette for Best Veteran, and Sara came home with three rosettes from her classes, a 2nd, a 3rd and a 4th.  It was also great to see all the people from Greyhound Welfare and we had a nice chat/catch up.  Then home, to get dry and enjoy a gin.  

On the Tuesday, we travelled down with Murgy and Mick to see Rhian in hospital.  The ward allowed us to take the dogs through the ward foyer and out into the hospital garden - a quiet spot where we could sit and chat.  I was amazed by the reactions to the dogs, both by staff and other patients.  They brought so many people over for a chat, a cuddle and made so many smile - it was astonishing and wonderful.  Rhian was thrilled to see them.  We sat and chatted and the time flew by, then it was time to come home.  We made sure Mick was wearing his rosette when we arrived, and Rhian has kept it near her bed, to help encourage thoughts of recovery and good times ahead.  

We had a quiet evening at home and Andrew had a lovely long bath in a sea of lavender bubbles.  On Wednesday, he was back on the road, back down to Brighton and it was Murgatroyd's big day.  I took her in and felt quite bereft as she was led away from me by the nurse, even though I knew she needed the operation.  I also took Mick in for a check up and for his vaccinations, wormer etc.  As expected the vet was very happy with him, and said he seems fit and healthy.  The day passed and I phoned during the afternoon to check on progress.  Eventually I picked her up around 6.30 and she came out, looking very woozy still.  The vet had had to remove virtually all of her teeth - all that was left were the canines at the front.  I was given more antibiotics, painkillers for her and then took her home.  

Not surprisingly, she spent a quiet night, very sleepy and woozy, then to my amazement, the following day, she seemed as bright as a button.  I kept her at home, and made sure she had her tablets.  She devoured soft food, woofing down pilchards and minced rabbit. Yesterday, she was also very perky and today again she's been amazingly bouncy.  We took them this morning to the greyhound field and she was sprinting round like greased lightning - a joy to see.  She's had no bleeding in the mouth, and best of all, the vile, horrible stench has now gone. 

She is making such an excellent recovery that we are seriously considering taking her tomorrow to the Animal Lifeline Wales charity dog show at Pembrey Country Park.  I've been involved in helping a bit with this, (my friend Penny is chair of the charity), and have done things like organising the printing of the schedules, getting the rosettes etc.  Confession time here - we get the rosettes from Celebration Rosettes in Port Talbot - run by a lovely lady called Heather, herself a keen dog owner with two gorgeous beagles.  I get the most terrific buzz from ordering and picking up the rosettes - it probably dates back to my childhood/teenage years of Pony Club gymkhanas, when coming home with a rosette was a huge and special achievement.  Heather makes the most wonderful creations, and it's fun to look at the different options for ribbons, points, frills, metallics, colour etc.  We've got some gorgeous ones for the various classes and awards and I'm also thrilled that we've got plenty of "Well Done" ones - these help to ensure children don't go home empty handed and are great where there are lots of deserving entrants (like Best Rescue).  

I'll conclude by adding a few pics of the new arrivals taken at the greyhound field. 

Long term readers will recall that back in April 2009, Andrew and I fostered a greyhound bitch.  At the time we were living in Builth Wells and we christened her Murgatroyd.  She stayed with us until July 2009, when she was adopted and renamed Callie.  She was an utterly adorable girl, and we were both delighted to keep in touch with the lady who adopted her, and who also went on to adopt a second greyhound, called Mick.  

The lady who adopted her lived down in Burry Port, near Pembrey Country Park and we would regularly go down with our hounds and meet up for a walk in the Park.  It was lovely to see little Callie so happy and settled and being cared for by an owner who clearly adored them both.   

Sadly, in recent times, their owner has not been in the best of health.  We'd been aware of this, but then matters took a more serious turn.  Just two days after Sara arrived with us, we had a phone call from Callie and Mick's owner, saying that her health was deteriorating and that a hospital visit was quite likely to be imminent, and could we help to care for the dogs?  

Since then, Rhian has been in hospital, and we've been rather stuck, as Sara almost immediately came into season, something which made introducing other dogs impossible.  Then we had Boola's tragic passing.  During this time, the dogs have been staying at a kennel in Carmarthenshire, being very well looked after.  I have been visiting them regularly, taking pics of them and then seeing Rhian in hospital to give her updates - she has been very concerned about them.  It has become clear that Rhian is very seriously ill, and we had several discussions about the dogs.  Eventually, we've agreed that we will foster the dogs while she is unwell though with the support of a local charity - they will help with vets bills and provide extra support if anything happens to me or Andrew.  

We are collecting the dogs on Friday afternoon, and it seems amazing to think that three years on our little Murgatroyd will be coming home to us, albeit on a temporary basis, though probably for quite a while, along with her lovely brother Mick.  We will be a four hound household - if Boola had survived, a five hound house.  Gulp.  I feel a bit of trepidation, mixed with gladness that we can support Rhian, happiness to be seeing little Murgy again, and again sadness that Boola and Booty aren't here to greet their foster sister once more.  It's been a worrying time, but I'm hopeful we can get things resolved and help both Rhian and the dogs get through a difficult patch.  In particular, although this kennel is very good and offers exemplary care, we would not have wanted this as a long term option for the two dogs, especially going into the winter months.  I'm also very pleased that we've been able to visit Rhian in hospital, not as often as I'd like, since she's down in Carmarthenshire, but at least it's a cheery face occasionally, and we've been able to bring her a few small necessities like toiletries, books etc.  

Please keep everything crossed for a smooth settling in period and a speedy recovery for Rhian.  I've attached some pics - of Callie and Mick in the kennels, and some older ones of them. 

It's difficult to know where to begin.

Just two weekends ago, Alex and James, our nephews came over for a lovely weekend.  We had a marvellous time with the boys, and as usual, we incorporated a visit to a local dog show with Boola.  To our delight, Boola won the Best Veteran Class and the boys came home with their first trophy. 

On the Monday, Claire came over to collect them and stayed for lunch.  Later in the week, I came down with raging tonsillitis and noticed also that Boola was limping slightly on his front leg.  As I was so unwell, the dogs were not walked, and I felt that for Boola this would be fine if it was a simple muscle strain. I managed to get to see the GP and got some antibiotics, which began working very quickly.  By Saturday, I felt a little better and we had a booking at the greyhound field.  Once we were there, it became clear that Boola was not at all happy.  He was refusing to run round, and looked uncomfortable, preferring to lie down.  We were desperately concerned, and managed to find out that our vet had a Saturday afternoon clinic at their sister branch in Barry.  Andrew took him over and the vet couldn't find anything specific, but gave him an anti inflammatory injection.  

That night, he was clearly uncomfortable and in pain, and we brought him onto our bed to sleep - we were both desperately worried and by about 7 the next morning, we were both awake and decided to take him to the emergency vets.  They were lovely, and gave Boola a pain killing injection and some Tramadol tablets.  Brought him home but during the morning, he went downhill very fast, becoming distressed and agitated.  We took him back to the EV at lunchtime and he was given some methadone, and the vet took blood for tests.  He became a bit more comfortable in the back of the car and we waited for the results.  All these came back as normal, and the vet offered us an X ray.  We declined - to us, by that point, it seemed simply cruel to prolong Boola's suffering for a moment more than necessary.  The vet explained that the only remaining step for pain relief was for him to be admitted and be given IV ketamine while more investigations were carried out but this was not something we wanted for him.  

As he was comfortable in the back of the car, the vet made the arrangements and he passed away peacefully with us holding him that afternoon.  

Just a week after the lovely weekend with the boys, our gorgeous blonde boy was gone.  We are still reeling.  Boola has been cremated privately and the ashes returned to us - we will scatter these when we are ready.  Coming so soon after losing Booty, this has hit us very, very hard.  I am still at the stage of finding his hair on clothes, and expecting to see him when I walk into rooms.  All I can say is that he was a joy to be with, and brought us so much love and happiness in the time we shared with him.  I am also glad for his sake that he did not have a lengthy illness and that he passed so peacefully.  I must pay tribute to the EV staff, who were all flawlessly professional, kind, calm, and made a horrendous weekend a bit more bearable.  

It has been very hard for Andy who was still a bit vulnerable after losing Booty - thank goodness we've had Sara here - she has been a lifesaver.  Her season has now finished, and we are back to walking them together, but even there, it feels so odd not to see Boola's familiar lope, his funny bounces and that wonderful smile of his.  

Since then a lot more has happened and I am feeling like I live in a tumble dryer.  I think it best if I do separate blog posts for the various strands.